The Diary of Lenchweed
by patience22
Summary: Based on C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. The demon Lenchweed documents his experiences with his newest patient.
1. Oct 13

DISCLAIMER: Basic outline is C.S. Lewis'. Names and events are mine.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is basically my demon writing about me. It is not for your enjoyment, though you might enjoy it. How should I know? It's just so I can see myself more clearly so I can improve myself. Oh, and I might sound a little too...sure of myself here and there, but I'm not. Trust me. I'm not sure how often I'll be posting entries, just so you know.  
  
FEEDBACK: Love it! Even flames if they're not anonymous so that I can track you down and ask you why you flamed me.  
  
***  
  
Oct. 13, 2003  
  
Due to recent difficulties concerning the conversion of my newest patient, I have decided to start a journal so that I may possibly be able to examine my efforts more thoroughly.  
  
I will begin with a brief history of my efforts with my patient. In her early years, she found her individuality. However, certain circumstances caused her to become introverted, shy and awkward, making it very easy when she was of age for me to lead her into conformity. After she recovered from a deep depression caused by her brother-in-law, a patient of Abertsnit, I took the opportunity to expose her to witchcraft. My patient had been obsessed with dark creatures and pretend magic when she was younger, and I expected to make good use of a renewed obsession. To my great dismay, my plan backfired. True, she became obsessed with authentic witchcraft, but she pitied those who used it instead of using it herself. I am afraid that the closest I was ever able to get her to practicing witchcraft was mocking the cleansing of her sister's bedroom with water, which she later regretted, mostly because she was afraid she had disappointed the Enemy, but partially because her sister retired to her room earlier than expected, before the water had the chance to dry.  
  
I am very pleased to report that I have had some accomplishments in changing my patient's pleasant attitude. She suffers from depression, though has been fighting it rather well. She refuses to take prescription medication for fear of the side effects of the mind-altering drugs. But her fight with depression has caused her to be self-absorbed. Granted, she is much less self-absorbed than the average human, but the fact that she knows full well about her self-absorption and does almost nothing to deter it is a step towards complete indifference, which is a monumental step towards becoming a child of Our Father Below.  
  
I am attempting to stir up in my patient a lack of concern for her shyness. It hinders her when she tries to win over other humans to the Enemy, which would be wonderful in itself if she did not care as much as she does. She is trying to become more outgoing so that she may be able to speak more freely. She has also found other ways to be a messenger of the Enemy until the time comes when she can be so more actively (if ever such a time comes). She is determined to change the stereotype placed on Christians that labels them as judgmental hypocrites. She is, in fact, the least judgmental Christian patient to which I have ever been assigned. She is also the least hypocritical, and is known for this amongst her closest friends. Although these seem to be terrible aspects for a patient to possess, I believe that I may be able to use her great lack of judgment and turn it into cold-heartedness and unconcern for others' sins against the Enemy.  
  
This patient has proved to be a great challenge. But with effort, I believe that I will be able to win her over to Our Father Below.  
  
Signed, Lenchweed 


	2. Oct 18

I meant to post this a while ago. I started writing it a month ago, as you see by the date. I've been a little busy.  
  
***  
  
Oct. 18, 2003  
  
I have been having great fun with my patient! I have been working with Groundenwip and Flunderboot, who have charge of my patient's parents. They were very successful in making the parents turn against each other and fight viciously. And, after a while, they had the parents completely disregard their children's feelings and become consumed with taking vengeance on one another, particularly the father. He would go behind the mother's back and tell his children that their mother is unbalanced and selfish. This was wonderful for my patient in particular because she was learning to drive a car at the time. She was stuck in a confined space with this man day after day as he complained about his life. Oh, the fun I had putting images of suicide and self-mutilation in her mind! But, sadly, she fears the Enemy too much to act on thoughts of suicide. I was able to drive her to some very mild self-mutilation twice, but that is all.  
  
But the best progress I have had with my patient concerning her parents is causing her to be cold towards them. I am disappointed to say that she is not doing this to take revenge on or punish her parents, but because she just does not want any contact with them at all. I have been able to make her nauseous every time her father walks into the room for fear that he may speak to her. I have been able to make her disregard her parents' feelings, and Groundenwip and Flunderboot have been able to cause her parents to disregard their childrens' feelings and plague them with guilt every time they wish to be apart. My patient's sister, a patient of Keelsnap, spends most of her time out with friends and spends very few nights in her own bed, instead taking refuge from her parents at friends' houses. My patient, on the other hand, craves to be alone. She not only wants to be apart from her parents, who are always around, but she wants to be apart from everyone else as well. Therefore, she cannot take refuge at a friend's house. Bitterness can always be helpful in bringing patients to our side.  
  
But the best fun I have had with my patient has not lead to any progress, I am sad to say. Groundenwip and Flunderboot were finally able to drive the parents to divorce. This is usually very hard on children, but my patient was rather relieved. I could not stand for this, of course, so I had Groundenwip and Flunderboot cause their patients to switch back and forth from being uncharacteristically affectionate towards each other to being their old, vindictive selves. This drove my patient to the brink of insanity. Is it not strange how the human mind work? It is extremely amusing. At one point, I had my patient in a fit, talking to herself and going into spasms. I was drunk with pleasure! But, predictably, this did nothing more than cause her to question her sanity.  
  
Signed, Lenchweed 


	3. Jan 25

Having just re-read _The Screwtape Letters_ and gotten a random review for this project- the first in years- I've decided to pick it up again. Have fun...

* * *

Jan. 25, 2006 

I have been slacking in my journal entries, and have seen the affects of this all too well in working with my patient. Here, I will record a brief summary of events that have taken place since my abandonment of this log:

I mentioned in my last entry that my patient's parents had decided to divorce. However, they persisted in delaying the processes and, because she desired for her parents to divorce in order to release her from her own internal pain, my patient became even more frustrated than before her parents announced they would be separating. I also mentioned that she had become unconcerned with her parents' feelings because they had inadvertently crushed her morale with their unconcern for hers.

By the way, I must say that Groundenwip and Flunderboot did excellent work with the parents in this area. It amazes me that the parents actually _did_ have a great amount of concern for my patient, and would worry about her and ask her to talk about her problems, yet they would do _nothing_ to change their habits in order to actually relieve her pain. How can human beings fall into such traps? When my patient _would_ share her troubles with her parents they would smile and give her a pat on the back, thinking that they had made great progress with their daughter, and then proceed to completely ignore all that she had said. Absolutely brilliant.

But I digress. Eventually I was able to turn my patient's unconcern for her parents from a tool of self-preservation to passive-aggressive vindictiveness. And the most wonderful thing about it was that she was fully aware of her vindictive attitude, yet did nothing to change it! Of course, it is common knowledge that a human'sawareness of his sin is always something that must be avoided, but at that time it was a good sign that my patient was on her way to our side.

However, my patient's mother died suddenly of liver failure (having never divorced her husband). The death of a loved one is almost always a turning point in the condition of a human soul. On one hand, a person may become angry with the Enemy, blaming Him, for some ridiculous reason, for the loved one's passing. Humans do not seem to realize that death simply happens to their animal bodies, and they have trouble grasping the concept of the immortal soul. The alternative direction a human may take is the reevaluation himself and his life, which, unfortunately, is the path my patient took, and I have to admit that things have really gone downhill since then. What an unfair advantage the Enemy has following a death! I was distracted by the ecstacy of her pain and was completely unaware of the spiritual awakening that was taking place directly in front of me. Among many other things, my patient has finally overcome her vindictiveness towards her parents and has become patient with her father who, I am pleased to say, has not taken the death of his wife quite as well as his daughter. And I must say that Keelsnap did well with my patient's sister during that time. I had thought he had finally lost his touch. However, his has proved to be a very difficult patient, and I believe that his battle will eventually be lost unless he greatly improves his strategy.

Of course, I must focus on my own patient. I have been able to keep her from her prayers, reducing them to mere mumbling thoughts made just before she goes to sleep. She uses the fact that she is in college to excuse herself, but in reality she has plenty of time to read her Bible and pray and simply chooses not to.

And something quite interesting I have been able to accomplish in my patient is the presence of genuine hate. One of her friends, a patient of Screel (a very odd patient, by the way, but I have lost my purpose too often in this entry to go into detail), was sexually abused when she was younger by her brother, whom both patients saw on a regular basis and whom was never punished for his actions because his parents refused to believe their son would be guilty of such a thing. This gave birth to an enormous amount of bitterness in Screel's patient, of which Screel took artful advantage. As a result, I was able to create a hate for this brother of which my patient was completely unaware. She thought violent thoughts about him, and laughed in malice whenever something unpleasant happened to him. Strangely, however, my patient was completely civil and even kind whenever she interacted with him, but I was able to stir up guilt within her for being disloyal to her friend when she treated the brother this way. I thought this hate would be very simple to maintain, provided I keep the word "hate" from her mind, until the brother joined the war between the Americans and the Middle Easterners. When my patient heard of this, I recorded the following thought:

_Oh, yes! He might die! Oh, no, I want him to die._

It seems that wanting someone to die is howmy patient defines hate. Though this definition is flawed, it nevertheless alerted my patient to the fact that she did, indeed, hate this brother. Though I tried, I was unable to foster an unconcern for her hate and only managed to plague her with guilt as she vowed to learn to love the brother, despite the fact that he is, quote, "_A disgusting human being_." While I am proud of that thought, I am afraid she may overcome it along with her hate.

As for a direct attack on my patient's faith, I discovered long ago that creating an incompatibility between scripture and rationality was the best solution. In fact, I nearly had her when she found what she thought was an inconsistency between Old and New Testament doctrine, but my efforts were swiftly quelled when she discovered she had mistook modern Jewish ideology for ancient canon. Now I have posed a new question for her: If God is omnipotent and perfectly good, then why is there evil in the world? She has found several answers for this which have not fully satisfied her, but I have been fairly efficient in causing her to forget these theories, flawed as they may be. It is increasingly important that I not allow her discover the true answer (or even a satisfying false one for that matter), though it is common knowledge beyond the earthly realm.

Signed,  
Lenchweed

* * *

I hesitated posting this because I've discovered my writing as a high school sophomorewas much better than my writing as a college freshman. College sucks the intelligence from your brain. 


End file.
